Warriors Rap Battles Presents: A Very Warriors Christmas
Part 1: The Telling. This is a spin-off from the main series. ;D Enjoy! Wafflez44: *Hanging ornaments.* Jayfeather: What's with the tree? Wafflez44: You've never heard of Christmas? Jayfeather: ... Wafflez44: Wow, you must be deaf in all senses. Jayfeather: HEY. Wafflez44: I'll show you something about it... Wafflez44: Christmas, it's a time for all. Hanging red and blue ornament balls. Christmas, it's a special thing, carolers crowding on the streets to sing. Christmas, stockings smooth as silk. Putting out warm cookies and milk. Christmas, better make it last. In a couple of days, it'll be the past. Jayfeather: So, should I scare people dressed as a bat? Wafflez44: You can wait until Halloween for that. Rules for Christmas: Don't bite or scratch mall Santa's ear. Jayfeather: Should I rip a chunk out of a reindeer? Wafflez44: If you want to be arrested for interrupting cheer. Jayfeather: Is there any more I'd like to see? Wafflez44: Kids ripping off present wrapping with glee. Sitting amongst the pine falling off the tree. I'll show you, come with me. *So Wafflez44 and Jayfeather go around spreading joy and several police calls from Jay's antics. Part 2: Eat your heart out, 'O' Come Ye Faithful'. Jayfeather: GUYS. I've discovered Christmas! Firestar: Wha... *Tigerstar walks in. Tigerstar: Oh, no! Cheer will not happen here. Oh, hey, that rhymes! Jayfeather: You just started! Tigerstar: NO. Firestar: Step back, son, or I'll school both of you. Jayfeather: Then I guess it's a three way rap battle. *Jayfeather, Firestar, and Tigerstar all jump back. Firestar: So what's this 'Christmas' all about? Tigerstar: Annoying people singing, making old folks shout. Firestar: That sure doesn't sound too fun, if I see those freaks I think I'll run. Tigerstar: I'll stay fight, for what is right, the balance of chaos in the night. Jayfeather: Hold up, you judge too quick. Listen up, or I'll whack you with my stick. Tigerstar: I'll crack that little piece of wood. Whack at me, I'll whack you good. Respect your elders, I've died and lived seen these go down, long before you came around. Jayfeather: Now, I'm evenly matched in mental power, you look deep in my eyes, you'll run for an hour. Firestar: I'm the light that burns in the forest alright? Flying higher than a Twolegs kite. I stop the birds with a flick of my tail, absurd, maybe, but I'm seen by the world. Jayfeather: You elders can squabble all you can, when you get tired, then what's the plan? Let youth take a shot for once, you old 'leaders' never listen to us. Firestar: If you actually knew what you were saying, you would realize how actually crazy it is. Pffft, I'll never listen to kids. I'm the essence of leadership, from the drink of life, I take a sip, my handsome pelt will never change, but just the same, so I don't look lame, I'll still be in the hall of FAME. *Word fame blows the others off the stage. Jayfeather and Tigerstar get up, dazed. Jayfeather: Ow, even my fur hurts. Tigerstar: You got lucky... again. Firestar: Whatever you say, Tiggerstar. Tigerstar: DON'T CALL ME THAT. Firestar: I'll do what I want. Anyway, I'll look into this 'Christmas'. Part 3: Rumor Has It. *Jayfeather goes around telling about Christmas. Random Cat: How does he fit down a chimney if he's so fat? Jayfeather: Ummmm... Twoleg science? Random Cat: IT'S ALL SO CLEAR NOW. *Walks away with mathmatical knowledge.* *Wafflez44 walks up.* Wafflez44: The look in that cat's eye looked like me after math class. What. Have... you, DONE?! Jayfeather: You judge too quick, I'll whack you with my- Wafflez44: Nice try. 'Tis already been said. Jayfeather: I thought you were stupid! Wafflez44: I'm the smartest dummy I know. Now spill the beans. Jayfeather: I've been spreading the Christmas idea. Now cats can share some of the pleasures humans do. Wafflez44: You're not saying it all... Jayfeather: *Mumbling to self.* Okay, I told them about the milk, the cookies, presents, celebrating me... Wafflez44: Wait, what?! Jayfeather: Oh, sorry. I forgot about mall santa. Wafflez44: No, no, you are NOT the person who is supposed to be the star. We'll have to rename you 'Blasphemyfeather' now. Jayfeather: Hey, hey, I've done nothing wrong! I'm just spreading a little bit of my own ideas. These cats won't believe all Two-Leg theories. I'm adapting some of them. You know, like the Christian missionaries tried to lure in Pagans with weird, spiritual ideas. Wafflez44: No more excuses! It's time for a battle! *Grabs mic.* Jayfeather: I'll put some reason in your empty head! *Grabs another mic.* Wafflez44: That's it. Part 4: Truth vs. Theory Wafflez44: You're trying to use your senseless theories, but one thing's straight, you'll never steer me; in the wrong direction, it's only an infection, all you'll get is rejection, if you can't respect me, I guess you'll fear me. You think you talk truth, but I know you talk crap, if you want to beat me, you'd better freaking RAP. *Jayfeather is blown off a little by the last word.* Jayfeather: My turn. You Twolegs think you're always right. You just can't go down without a fight. I'm sick of this plight, and in spite of me sight, I know I'm gonna win this fight. I've got you cornered, you cannot run, and as long as I'm here, I'll have some fun. I'll stand my ground, for what I've found, a new light, and a new SOUND. *Wafflez is blown through a mountain. Jayfeather runs after him.* Jayfeather: Your body is speeding, your mind is fleeting; Prepare yourself, for a verbal beating. I'll knock you through an open prairie, and even in daylight, things will be scary. Do your best, 'cause there's no rest, you'll get a bad grade on this test. Looks like you're dropping out of this class, you'll be knocked through the door, right on your a-. Wafflez44: NO SWEARING!!!! *Flips on to feet.* Wafflez44: You think I'll lose to a pathetic dope? Your mouth is dirty, here's some soap! Even though you grab for words, all you do is pick up turds. My skills and knowledge exceeds that of a cat, and I know that you're aware of that. *Overdrive mode. Jayfeather gasps.* My rage is fed by your, ignorant attitude; it's so rude and crude, it upsets my mood. If I end this like I should, I'll shut your lying mouth for GOOD! *An invisible force makes a huge crater in the ground, slamming Jayfeather with tremendous pressure.* Wafflez44: The Mariana Trench ain't got nothin' on this! *Jayfeather twirls a tiny white flag, then collapses, defeated.* *Wafflez44 walks away with a smirk on his lips.* Part 5: The Angle in the Manger Wafflez44: That was pretty good for a little furball, I guess. Category:Wafflez' Musical Stuff Category:Wafflez' Spoofs